Christmas Story

I can't believe that Christmas is almost here!

I have a special shout-out to my friend Matt for passing this heartfelt story on to me. I'm not above posting something that's traveling around the internet and although this might not exactly fit in the format of the Wacky blog, it really got to me.

So - in the time-honored tradition of the Christmas Shoes, here is a Christmas story for 2009.
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Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. Then I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance.

As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old.

He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill. Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand.

Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong.

He told me his sad story:

He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and four sisters. His father had died when he was nine years old. His mother was poorly educated and worked two full time jobs. She made very little to support her large family. Nevertheless, she had managed to skimp and save two hundred dollars to buy her children Christmas presents.

The young boy had been dropped off by his mother, on the way to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for all his siblings and save just enough to take the bus home. He had not even entered the mall, when an older boy grabbed one of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night.

"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked.

The boy said, "I did."

"And nobody came to help you?" I wondered.

The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head.

"How loudly did you scream?" I inquired.

The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!"

I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help. So I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car.

wrong week

Looks like I picked the wrong week.

Ever have one of those days?

Turn around

Oddly enough, in the last couple of weeks I've been pointed to a couple of different quirky pieces about the old 80's hit, "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler.

First is this flow-chart detailing the song.

Jeannie Harrell takes Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler, and puts it in flowchart form.

And this literal interpretation of the music video.


This just in... Brak

It is ITLAPD again

Get Your Yaar On!


Today is September 18 - or as I like to call it, International Talk Like A Pirate Day's Eve.

For the weekend, I am Piratizing the whole Mirthmobile site. Enjoy it while you can!

Special thanks to the Yahoo Developer Network for the JavaScript. This helpful little script turns seemingly innocuous phrases into a salty prattle.

Example:
Before



After

Still a Typo

Is it still considered a typo when you make it out of wood and mass-produce it?


A co-worker of mine picked up some office decor and found what she thought said "Peace" followed by a decorative cross. While showing it off, she pointed out how she wanted a reminder to have peace in her life.

I suggested that she would most likely get lots of visitors to her desk and phone calls asking for computer help. (followed by a blank look)

It took a while for her to figure out that the Peace wooden cut-out instead spelled PC ACE.

I still like to call her from time to time and ask her questions about my Mac.

marker fun

See how much fun you can have with a marker and a window in your cubicle?

It's lots of fun working in a creative environment.

Meanwhile, here's a list of other things you should have seen on the internet.
You Should Have Seen This

Thanks Matt!

Foreign Language Skills

Things I'd like to know how to say in a foreign language, like Russian:

We're in silent attack mode!

I will be your friend. I am dangerous.

Ha! I have your lawn chair!

There are 10 cars parked here. 9 of them are not mine.

When you win, I win.

Why are there so many trucks?

This is what I call a happy day.

There is fresh milk in the refrigerator.

It's a shame I didn't buy a package of cookies.

Where is your refrigerator?

How do I help my self to your food?

Do you think your market is better than my supermarket?

I have found your item in row 14.

So you didn't buy me a pet?

This is my friend Bob. He is your friend too. Why don't you say hello. He said hi.

There are times I own more pennies than I have now.

Will you buy my grommet factory?

This is not my friend. Go find my friend.

Oh I bet you think I sound silly. Well, watch me drive your car!

Where do I find a toy store in this mountainous region?

Not-ah! My foot's bigger than your nose!

I know how to fight cavities!


Thanks to my co-worker Matt for that one.

Google Makes Life Easier

I know you all need help with the technology in your lives and I thought I’d point you to some ways Google is making my life easier.
Over the years, Google has helped me with my home internet connection:


Helped me understand how their search engine rankings work:


And even provided me with refreshing beverages to help balance my electrolytes:


This year, Google has added a couple of great user-friendly tools to their labs, including:
Autopilot for email

It utilizes their new Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE):

So, dig in, hook up, and plug away.

Some more of my favorite early-April releases:
2008
2007

Doritos mouse trap

Still killing me.

illustrated word

Sometimes, it's just embarrassing to be in marketing and the church.



But I guess you have to have something to go with
this artist...

And
this band

And
this video crew

objects in mirror

objects in mirror are dumber than they appear

Objects in Mirror are Dumber than they Appear

Reminds me of a story -
These two guys get out of Truck Driving School and on their first run, they see a sign for a low bridge – 12 feet – 0 inches. They check the truck and the height is 13 feet 9 inches. They keep driving.
As they get closer to the bridge, they see another sign, “ low bridge – 12 feet – 0 inches”. They check the truck and the height is 13 feet 9 inches. They keep driving.
Finally as they get to the bridge, they stop, see the sign on the bridge, “12 feet – 0 inches”. They check the truck and the height is 13 feet 9 inches.
One driver says, “Waddaya think?”
The other says, “Well, there’s not a cop in sight, I say we go for it.”

shooting stuff

shooting stuff

I've never been one for guns. I staunchly support very strict handgun control.

I honestly didn't know it could be this much fun.

My friend and co-worker Matt is getting married on Saturday, and this was event #1 of the bachelor party. We also went to dinner.

A group of guys - each renting or bringing a different firearm to the target range gives you the opportunity to try a bunch of different stuff. I have even more respect for the seriousness of weapon ownership now than I did before - having felt the recoil of a 357 Magnum, felt the easy squeeze of a 9mm and a .40 caliber. The M-16 (pictured) on the other-hand is what my friend TJ and I rented and it was easily the highlight of the shooting-fest.

Where's my NRA membership card?

And no, I did not make all of those bullet holes in the ceiling.