just painful

I love Jesus.
Seriously! I am a huge fan. I think that Jesus is the best thing that's ever happened to me and so many of my loved ones. If you don't know what I'm talking about and you're curious let me know: brianatkinson [at] mirthmobile.com

Anyway, since I'm such a fan of Jesus I've made it one of my missions to be an everyday marketer for Him. It's one of the reasons I run this website. It's also one of the reasons why stuff like this makes me sad, angry and cracks me up all at the same time. Is there any wonder why there has to be a blog dedicated to how bad church marketing can be?

Most Christians who are really sold-out for Jesus tend to express their passion in a variety of ways. Some sculpt, some make movies, some write books and essays. Unfortunately, some create painful art.


Since we don't have any photographs of Jesus, people try to create some kind of image that represents who Jesus is to them. I just can't get behind this creepy Kenny Loggins in a tux version. Why did you have to paint this? Why?



This one was tough to pick out from the collection. I had a choice between this boxer with the gloves off and another in the ring, but with more of a WWF style to it. Jesus is no wimp. The man was a laborer, a carpenter, or some say more like a construction worker. He probably doesn't resemble the emaciated blond guy they show in the movies. On the other-hand I don't know if portraying Jesus as a bare-chested prize-fighter really captures the essence of the savior, even if you title the painting "Undefeated".



Last but not least, the inked Jesus. What more can I say about this one? For my Roman Catholic brothers and sisters out there who place a traditional importance on the role of Mary, the Mother of Jesus, please don't be offended by the "Father" tattoo on our Lord's bicep. I'm sure there's a renaissance Madonna on the other arm.

Thanks to my friend Stever for pointing these out to me.

Cat Herding

For years I've had the phrase "cat herding" in my bio but some people ask what that means.



To me, that commercial, shown first in the 2000 Super Bowl and later during the 2005 Super Bowl, does a great job explaining it. That's what I do.

tax dollars at work

It's funny how some random events can lead to some unexpected answers to some burning questions.
I hardly get any mail at my new apartment in Grand Haven. I'm getting some forwarded mail from my old place, and I'm getting some mail addressed properly, but not very much. Out of 6 possible mail delivery days each week, I seem to receive mail on an average of only 2 days. Why don't I get much mail?

Now the interesting facts and random events.
A check mailed to me on or near February 1 is now officially three weeks - undelivered - late - missing - etc.
I recently renewed my passport - and yesterday got a phone call from the passport people.
And I just spoke with my United States Postal Carrier (they have titles you know - USPC) in the hallway of my building.

These are two pieces of new information gleaned from the phone hallway conversations:
1) My USPC only works three days a week and the other three days are handled by substitutes who don't normally work this route.
2) My Passport was returned to the United States Passport Administration Office as undeliverable through the United States Postal Service.

Leading me to this conclusion:
US mail might not deliver to my home in a timely manner.
My tax dollars at work?

The moral?
At least I don't have Comcast for cable and internet anymore.

haircuts

I just got a new haircut - finally. Having recently moved to Grand Haven, I had to figure out where to get a haircut around here. Fortunately, surprisingly, freakishly, coifishly , mind-bogglingly, there are lots of places to get a haircut just up the street.

I'm even pretty happy with the results. Sylvia says it's her favorite so-far. So, as bizarre as 10 haircut places within easy walking distance and 100 more within 15 miles seems to me, I don't think it compares to how wacky this is:



Special thanks to The Chris for blogging that haircut.

Chumble Spuzz

My friend D'Arcy sent me this blog post about learning English as a second language and using children's blocks to illustrate the language.

Everything starts out innocently enough:


And moves on to some interesting translations:


Then a little stranger:

Where's your epidiascope anyway?

After that, it just gets scary.

Moving Steve to Violence

Some of you may know Steve from a previous post - the one with the giant gum ball.

Steve

My friend Steve works for Yahoo! Steve and I have known each other for about 13 years, back when he was a student and I was on staff at Calvin College. Later Steve worked for me as a student and some time later on staff before he moved to California (swimming pools, movie stars) and Silicon Valley. When Steve was a student, a few of us around the office made up a game called "move Steve to violence".

The object was to say or do something that would move the normally well balanced Mr. Steve, a mild-mannered software developer, to a state of uncontrollable rage and of course, violence. The violence expressed itself in a variety of ways, from actual physical beatings, to a hand simply raised and poised for a strike.

Over the years, Steve, in his good-natured way, has allowed me to keep this game going and with this picture posted on his flickr pages, I had to relate a story from last week.

Recently the news has been afflicted with stories of Microsoft making a play for Steve's home turf. I sent Steve, the passionate Mac user, a text message that read, "So, are you MS Steve yet?"
To which he replied, "I am permanently moved to violence."
Thanks Steve.


What moves you to violence? (Nerf-gun violence counts, don't let Steve try to tell you differently)