I love google maps
http://maps.google.com/
I use them to get just about anywhere.
You faithful readers may remember this post about directions to France. There was swimming involved.
But what if you'd like to visit some place more exotic? What if the hum-drum of your earthly existence has you longing for a change of landscape?
Google Moon
Thanks to my pal SteveO for that one.
Unfortunately - no directions from-here or to-there are available yet. But if you zoom in all the way - you can see what the surface of the moon is really made of.
Please use the comments to suggest directions either from-here or to-there.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Why I like Woot!
I like Woot
http://www.woot.com/
It's not just because they write such creative descriptions of the products they sell.
It's not just because the sell one thing each day and then you can't buy it again until they come around with it again in their haphazard rotation.
It's not because they start selling that one thing at midnight Central Time, and keep selling it until it's sold out or time runs out.
It's not just because shipping is $5 no matter if it's a huge screen TV or a nearly worthless bag o' crap.
It's also because when there is a problem, they explain it well.
Don't you wish everyone had a really cool plumber page like this?
http://www.woot.com/
It's not just because they write such creative descriptions of the products they sell.
It's not just because the sell one thing each day and then you can't buy it again until they come around with it again in their haphazard rotation.
It's not because they start selling that one thing at midnight Central Time, and keep selling it until it's sold out or time runs out.
It's not just because shipping is $5 no matter if it's a huge screen TV or a nearly worthless bag o' crap.
It's also because when there is a problem, they explain it well.
Don't you wish everyone had a really cool plumber page like this?
Friday, June 15, 2007
Giving myself the finger
This morning I emptied my dishwasher. Now if that's not the beginning of a great story, I don't know what is.
I pulled out my Complimentary Cereal Bowl when it suddenly slipped from my grasp. I managed to grab it in mid-air and keep it from crashing to the floor. (note to self, buy a broom just in case) When I snagged it with my cat-like reflexes, the smallest digit of the pinky on my right hand bent up on the lip of the bowl. I heard a pop.
Normally, snaps, crackles and pops near a cereal bowl are good things. This was not so good. I immediately noticed that I could not straighten out my finger. Here's a picture if you want to get a little grossed out. It hurt. It didn't hurt when I laid it out flat on the counter. So I fixed up a little splint with some tape and the handle from a plastic knife from Wendy's. That was better.
I called my mom, the NP and asked for some quick medical advice. She said, "Oh, you've got trigger finger. Get it X-rayed and have someone check it out." I went to the medical center nearby. I was out of there in about an hour with a splint on my little finger and orders to avoid anything that I didn't feel like doing. That's right, I have medical permission to milk this any way I want.
Diagnosis:
The tendon that holds that last digit out straight snapped. Boy if that doesn't make you take the fragility of the human body into consideration, what will?
Prognosis:
I have to leave the splint on for at least 6 weeks. I should see a hand surgeon as soon as possible to see if we can re-attach the tendon. I'm waiting for my doctor to get back to me on that.
Reaction:
Un-flippin-believable!
I pulled out my Complimentary Cereal Bowl when it suddenly slipped from my grasp. I managed to grab it in mid-air and keep it from crashing to the floor. (note to self, buy a broom just in case) When I snagged it with my cat-like reflexes, the smallest digit of the pinky on my right hand bent up on the lip of the bowl. I heard a pop.
Normally, snaps, crackles and pops near a cereal bowl are good things. This was not so good. I immediately noticed that I could not straighten out my finger. Here's a picture if you want to get a little grossed out. It hurt. It didn't hurt when I laid it out flat on the counter. So I fixed up a little splint with some tape and the handle from a plastic knife from Wendy's. That was better.
I called my mom, the NP and asked for some quick medical advice. She said, "Oh, you've got trigger finger. Get it X-rayed and have someone check it out." I went to the medical center nearby. I was out of there in about an hour with a splint on my little finger and orders to avoid anything that I didn't feel like doing. That's right, I have medical permission to milk this any way I want.
Diagnosis:
The tendon that holds that last digit out straight snapped. Boy if that doesn't make you take the fragility of the human body into consideration, what will?
Prognosis:
I have to leave the splint on for at least 6 weeks. I should see a hand surgeon as soon as possible to see if we can re-attach the tendon. I'm waiting for my doctor to get back to me on that.
Reaction:
Un-flippin-believable!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
My Accent
I used to be radio disk jockey.
Before that, I had a strong mid-western twang, but then I taught myself to sound like someone on the radio. So, I'm not surprised that I have this accent.
Which American accent do you have?
Take the quiz and comment with your results.
Thanks to Brian for this one.
Before that, I had a strong mid-western twang, but then I taught myself to sound like someone on the radio. So, I'm not surprised that I have this accent.
Which American accent do you have?
Take the quiz and comment with your results.
Thanks to Brian for this one.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
I Hate You Too YouTube
As if I weren't already feeling a little blue today, YouTube adds salt and a twist of lemon to the wound.
I've been posting a few videos to YouTube recently and after setting up my own YouTube site This happy little image appears at the bottom of my screen.
Thanks a lot YouTube. I hate you too!
I've been posting a few videos to YouTube recently and after setting up my own YouTube site This happy little image appears at the bottom of my screen.
Thanks a lot YouTube. I hate you too!
Friday, June 8, 2007
Office I Dare You
I DARE YOU
Score Keeping
ONE-POINT DARE
1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,”Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,”Mmmmmmm, that's nice..."
6. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
7. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
8. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
THREE-POINT DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.(Men named Steve or Women named Amy get 4 points for this one)
2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE-POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra 3 points if you actually launch into it yourself and finish).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob" except people actually named "Bob". Do not address them at all.
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go float a duce in the shallow end".
5. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!"
9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights."
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.
15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee and move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
JUST FOR FUN - ZERO POINTS
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your trash can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
7. Don't use any punctuation
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
15. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
16. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Score Keeping
Special thanks to my friend Jeff for this one - some edits from me.
ONE-POINT DARE
1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,”Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,”Mmmmmmm, that's nice..."
6. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
7. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
8. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
THREE-POINT DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.(Men named Steve or Women named Amy get 4 points for this one)
2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE-POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra 3 points if you actually launch into it yourself and finish).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob" except people actually named "Bob". Do not address them at all.
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go float a duce in the shallow end".
5. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!"
9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights."
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.
15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee and move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
JUST FOR FUN - ZERO POINTS
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your trash can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
7. Don't use any punctuation
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
15. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
16. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Monday, June 4, 2007
When Vending Machines go bad
Oh the vending machine is a curious thing.
You put money in and jiggle the thing.
Press a button and something comes out.
Your cash for their stuff is what they're about.
I took this picture of vending machines gone bad at a rest stop in Mississippi. As amusing as this is to me, it doesn't hold a candle to this little beauty. A vending machine of live bait - spotted by my friend Adam.
I've seen these at gas stations along some highways in Michigan. Adam spotted his near his home in Alaska.
Question: How often does one have to refill the live bait to keep it "live?"
You put money in and jiggle the thing.
Press a button and something comes out.
Your cash for their stuff is what they're about.
I took this picture of vending machines gone bad at a rest stop in Mississippi. As amusing as this is to me, it doesn't hold a candle to this little beauty. A vending machine of live bait - spotted by my friend Adam.
I've seen these at gas stations along some highways in Michigan. Adam spotted his near his home in Alaska.
Question: How often does one have to refill the live bait to keep it "live?"
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Worst Animal Hospital Ever
We all get junk mail in our mailboxes. In Grand Rapids, we get a little 10 page catalog called "Grand Rapids Deals". This periodical provides coupons for pizza, carpet cleaning, and pest control. It also has ads for local services like this - The Worst Animal Hospital Ever.
It's difficult to read the text in this picture, but it says:
"Veterinary care with a heart"
Unfortunately, the heart of the little kitty in this picture has stopped. We hope you get over it soon.
Yes, that's a picture of a cat, laying on it's back, eyes closed, and paws akimbo. Did the vet or advertising exec think that this was a cute picture? Did they think it would inspire me to bring my beloved family pet in for their expert care? Do they offer taxidermy services?
Way to go Grand Rapids Deals!
It's difficult to read the text in this picture, but it says:
"Veterinary care with a heart"
Unfortunately, the heart of the little kitty in this picture has stopped. We hope you get over it soon.
Yes, that's a picture of a cat, laying on it's back, eyes closed, and paws akimbo. Did the vet or advertising exec think that this was a cute picture? Did they think it would inspire me to bring my beloved family pet in for their expert care? Do they offer taxidermy services?
Way to go Grand Rapids Deals!
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